Things I won’t apologize for
I will not apologize for my emotions. I will not apologize for crying. I will not apologize for getting upset. I will not apologize for seeing things differently than you. I will not apologize for my grief. I will not apologize for meeting my own needs. No longer saying sorry for having needs in the first place either. I will not apologize for needing help and asking for it. I will not apologize for letting my children cry and be emotional. I will not apologize for my children acting like children. I won’t apologize for having children. I won’t apologize for not having childcare and needing to bring my children along. I won’t apologize for having to stay home to be with my children either.
I won’t apologize for not having money. I will no longer apologize if I can’t afford something. I won’t apologize for my clothing, furniture or belongings being old or worn. I won’t apologize if my outfit isn’t on trend or someone thinks its dorky. I won’t apologize for patching my clothes. I’m definitely not saying sorry for not being on trend. I won’t apologize for re-wearing the same outfit multiple times a week. I won’t apologize for wearing exactly what I want. I will wear my sweats with no apology. I will wear my vintage gowns with no apology. I will wear my plunge halter tops with no apology. I will go braless cuz I want to and I won’t apologize for it. I also won’t apologize that my children’s clothing is secondhand. I won’t apologize that they pick their own mismatched outfits. I won’t apologize for putting their clothing away unfolded because they just rifle through the drawers like rabid (but cute) raccoons anyway.
And I also wont apologize for not wearing makeup. Or for wearing makeup. Nor for having dark circles, wrinkles, a belly, cellulite or body hair. Nope. Not apologizing for this physical vessel one bit.
I won’t apologize for being on WIC. How on earth can I apologize for working hard and still needing help to stay alive and nourished?? No. I will be grateful for what we have and unashamed. And I’m definitely not apologizing for not liking to cook. I’m not the from-scratch mother I thought I would be and thats ok. I won’t apologize that we can rarely afford to go out to eat. I won’t apologize either for the food i order when we do got out to eat. If I want the filet, I’m gonna order it. I actually won’t apologize for how i spend my money, period. Life on this spinning rock is short and we all require creature comforts at times. No one should apologize for choosing a treat or wanting more than the bare requirements of life. And Im no longer apologizing for indulging and choosing the joy of cheesecake, seven layer bars and chocolate.
I’m no longer saying sorry for being slow, for going through life at my own pace. I’m no longer saying sorry for prioritizing my mental and emotional health. I’m no longer saying sorry for not being able to keep up with social media demands. I’m not apologizing for not doing what people say we should do to satisfy an algorithm. I’m no longer apologizing for not being a “do it all” mother. I won’t apologize for listening to my gut and saying no to protect my children, my family, my business and myself. I’m no longer apologizing for not wanting the prescribed path, and i’m not apologizing for wanting something different than what I used to think I wanted.
I won’t apologize for my abilities and gifts. And I won’t apologize for my limitations. I won’t apologize for my personality, tho I admit i’m working on re-building some of my group social skills after 2 years basically alone with my kids. I won’t apologize for being cheerful and optimistic. And I won’t apologize for being direct and speaking truth. I will not apologize for being passionate and loud and dancing and singing through life.
I’ve spent my life apologizing for all of the above. For my choices and my path. And I’m not doing that anymore. Saying sorry and seeking others validation for my reality and existence is not my jam. Not anymore. As a chronic people pleaser and all around “good girl” I’m working on it. I’m working on being ok with being disagreed with, on other’s disapproval finding much less space in my life. I’m working on listening to my own inner voice and trusting that she knows whats best. I’m working on letting people judge and realizing that doesn’t need to rule my choices; judging happens no matter what. Its only human. I’m working on being quiet and letting my reality be what it is. Accepting what I have and what i’m capable of and realizing some dreams I’m already living. While still working hard to build my own version of the dreams to come.
What are you no longer saying sorry for?